Martha Jane Dowds, Founder of Friends Outside in Los Angeles County, passed away in the early morning hours of Monday, June 1, just three months shy of her 97th birthday.
It was somewhere around 1971. Martha Jane’s husband was a Superior Court Judge and her three children had left home to pursue higher education (Curtis to Yale, Mary Anne to UCLA, Gordon to Princeton). Facing an “empty nest,” she easily could have pursued a life of leisure. But, she wanted to do something more substantive and, perhaps, create something she could call her own. So, she decided to be patient and see what crossed her path. What crossed her path turned out to be an invitation to hear one Rosemary Goodenough talk about the organization she had founded in northern California called “Friends Outside.” Mrs. Goodenough was a non-practicing Quaker whose father was in the House of Commons in England. As I hear it told, Mrs. Goodenough’s method of expanding the organization was to call people she knew across California and ask them to assemble five or six “prominent” women for a visit from her. Mrs. Goodenough would talk “until all but one had lost interest.” She would declare that woman “Mrs. Friends Outside” and tell her that she needed to start a chapter. Apparently, Martha Jane was the last woman standing. Thus formally anointed, she returned to her home in San Marino, turned one of her children’s bedrooms into an office, and started the Chapter (things were easier then).
She once told me that her first official act of business was to find out for the wife of a state prisoner where Soledad State Prison was located. In addition to providing what at the time was somewhat arcane information, Martha Jane offered what she liked to call “common sense suggestions.” She started a “Wives Club” in her home during which children would swim and the women could socialize, appreciating a chance to do something other than visit prison in an effort to maintain their family bonds. The “corporate” offices were moved out of her home somewhere around 1974. Martha Jane continued to serve as a member of the Board until about 2000, after which she continued to support the organization’s work in myriad ways.
But, Martha Jane’s story is also a personal one. As one who had lost her way, Martha Jane believed in me when I had lost belief in myself. I ate many a meal at her home (which always included a salad with five kinds of vegetables). She always invited me to her family’s Christmas Eve celebrations and gave me a key to her cabin in Lake Arrowhead. With no car, Martha Jane offered to loan me money to buy one. I had never before (nor since) borrowed money but I did accept her offer (paying her and her husband back $25 a month for five years). Martha Jane also took a special liking to another employee who had gotten out of prison and gave him an unknown sum to go to college (he now has his Master’s Degree in Counseling). There were undoubtedly many, many other acts of kindness and generosity which she would never feel a need for anyone to know. She didn’t do it for applause or adoration. It was just who she was – a woman of privilege who preferred to spend her golden years offering a hand-up to folks when they most needed it.
Martha Jane loved poetry, most especially poems by Emily Dickinson, and perhaps therein lays an explanation of why she decided to involve herself in the Mission of Friends Outside:
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If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vain If I can ease one Life the Aching Or cool one Pain Or help one fainting Robin Unto his Nest again, I shall not live in Vain. |
Rest in Peace, Martha Jane. You made a difference.
Love,
Mary
(Mary Weaver, Executive Director)
